sometimes i look at everything-
it’s a weird concept, i know.
“why don’t you see everything all the time”
well it’s just so much work
but that’s another story.
so sometimes i look at everything and i get real sad because i realise that
“what outfit should i wear today”,
“will you help me hang this up?”,
“hey do you want to go get lunch?”
all don’t include me.
i’m kinda an after thought, like the tittle on an i, or the tattle on a t
dot me but don’t cross me.
“this girl’s a mystery!” they scream
i would put this in parentheses, the way i feel, like an afterthought, but
that would be giving to much credit to the designers.
i am optional.
this would all be fine, except the worst part is that i am optional to everyone
and i need to need someone
i need to
because if i didn’t i’d feel nothing
this pinch on my cheek would feel like nothing
my burning finger would feel like nothing
this necklace would feel like nothing
my mothers death would feel like nothing
so you see i need to need someone
but i’m optional
i don’t need myself.
so i kinda just fiddle around until i get it right.
i’ll get it right eventually.